Is hell real to you?

Okay, let's discuss the "elephant in the room." You know, hell. Like hell fire for eternity. Like some of the people you love are going there. Maybe you're afraid you might go. I don't hear this discussed much, but it seems like it should be talked about constantly, if in fact this is a real place and our final destination, based on what we decide before we die. Many say if one goes to hell, they chose to go. Somehow that really doesn't make a lot of sense to me, because why would someone chose to be in suffering for eternity, when they could chose no pain or suffering ever again? Why would there be such a place? How would it have come about? Why would some people that I love unconditionally end up there, without me being able to stop it? What if I end up there and what do I have to do, to make sure that I don't? How can I work with and around people on a daily basis, knowing they are probably going to hell, without shaking them to try to wake them up so they don't go? If I believe within my whole being, that hell is real and many around me will end up there if they don't believe and accept the "free" gift of salvation in Jesus Christ, and I never or almost never try to wake them up by whatever means necessary, then I do not love my brother as myself and according to that Book, I will go to hell too, or so it seems to me.